I think I've know this for a while but just finally accepted it today. I have no impulse control. I have a totally obsessive, over the top personality. I just cannot tell myself no, which I guess also means I have little to no self-control but I'm not willing to face that flaw yet today too. I finally came to the realization that I have no impulse control after going to Wal-Mart on my lunch break today for two things, fabric stabilizer and a salad, (not to be used jointly) and instead came out with $60.00 worth of stuff. Was it stuff I needed? Somewhat. Was it stuff I could have lived with out? Definitely. Is it stuff I will actually use? Absolutely.
Now for a little explanation on what I actually went in for, the fabric stabilizer and salad. I needed the stabilizer for a dress that I'm altering for my cousin for her first communion and the salad was for lunch. So it should have been a short, painless, cheap excursion into the store. I knew just where the stabilizer was and how much I needed and I knew exactly where the salads are in the store. But on my way to the very back of the store to get the stabilizer, I passed the cutest, sealable carafes that I just had to have for my kitchen because they were the exact colors I'm using. I could see all the dried rice and beans I just bought as a nod at eating healthier stored in them so prettily. So I grabbed them and instead of heading toward the fabric section, I turned down the next isle and found a rug gripper that might help keep the new rug I just bought a few weeks ago to stay put in my foyer. Are you seeing the pattern here?
My loss of control didn't stop there though. As I walked down the sewing isle toward the stabilizer which is literally on the very back wall of the store, I also remembered that I couldn't find my sewing gauge, so I grabbed one of those. And next to it I noticed a bobbin case and I didn't have one of those to help corral all those pesky little bobbies that are like precious jewels because they are so difficult to replace. I mean you would think that all the sewing machines made by the same brand would use the same size bobbin but this is just not the case, but I digress. So a few more things caught my eye and made it into the cart before I finally made it to the stabilizer but they are all very useful items that will come in handy with my sewing crafts but the point is that they weren't do or die things. Will they make the job a little easier? Yes. Were they essential to completing the project? No. Did I need them to make my life complete? Of course!!
I'd really like to tell you that my insanity stopped there and I grabbed my salad and ran from the building (after paying of course) like the hounds of hell were fast at my heals but alas, no. On the way to the produce section of the store, I had to pass the boys clothing section. Now, there was a time when buying clothes was my life. I longed to wear new and pretty things that were usually pretty expensive. I've grown up a lot in that respect as in that I no longer care about name brands and I will wear something until it absolutely has to be thrown away or made into a dust rag. But you see I have this beautiful, precious, little creature now with the softest ivory skin and palest blonde hair that deserves to be the best dressed little boy around and looks so gorgeous in any color under the sun. And Wal-Mart has really stepped up their game on the kids clothes. They have the cutest little shirt and short sets right now for $7.00. I mean $7.00!! Can you believe that?!? Being the realist that I am and possessing some sense of logic, I know that it is not wise to spend an exorbitant amount of money on kids clothes as they are not capable of keeping their Spaghetti-O sauce from running down their chin onto their clothes. Or at least my child isn't. So to me, getting him an adorable outfit that he may only wear once and will probably roll around in the grass in for $7.00 is a bargain.
And getting just one or maybe two outfits would be perfectly normal, but I don't get one or two. I get one of all of them that they have in his size. See, no impulse control! I didn't do that today thank goodness so maybe I'm learning. Or it could have been the fact that I was still thinking about all the craft junk I had just put in the cart. Now I know what you might be thinking. The kid's gotta have clothes and that's way more important that my craft stuff. And you would be right, except that I just bought him 7 or so outfits two weeks ago before he went to visit his dad because he had to have clothes that were appropriate for a sub-tropical climate. (His father lives in South Florida which I am certain is one of the many portals to hell which is the only explanation I can come up with to explain the unbearable heat they endure. I'm certain that there is something in the water to make them all believe they enjoy living in temperatures that are second only to that of the sun. But I digress again.) So needless to say, he didn't need any more clothes. I'd be willing to wager that the boy has more clothes than Beyoncé. (Not really but he's got a lot.)
After finally making it to the produce section to get my salad for lunch, I also remembered that I didn't bring anything to snack on this afternoon to keep me from raiding the sugar and calorie filled snack machine when my sweet tooth inevitably strikes. So not only did I get a salad but I got two snacks as well because, you know, I'll need one for tomorrow too and then finally made my way to the checkout where I again had to guard against all the whatnot's that they pile at the register to make people like me spend even more money than they originally intended too. Sometimes I think I need blinders like a horse at the derby.
So you see friends. It is painfully clear that I have a serious mental infirmity that surely can only be cured with intense therapy or through high dosages of anti-psychotic medications. I mean does anyone else have this problem? I feel like every time I go into a store, it is a battle with myself, and usually my checkbook, to not spend every penny I own on needless, or even needful, things. It is a constant struggle to be frugal and try to put money away for safe keeping. I just can't help it. I enjoy buying things, even if they aren't for me. Is that really so bad?