Lately I've thought about changing the name of this blog from "The Misadventures of a Single Mom" to "The Mad Ramblings of a Single Mom" because it seems that more often than not that's what most of my posts are, just whatever crazy thoughts pop in my head. My dad often tells me that I share too much and that no one really cares about the mundane events of my life. But I don't really write this blog to share my whole life story because I think my life is so awesome that the whole world needs to know every minute detail of my life. I write to get the words out of my head. Being single now I don't always have another adult that I can share everything with that goes on in my head. Even if that person isn't really listening, sometimes I just need to ramble because I have so many thoughts and ideas buzzing around in my head that I feel like it my explode if I don't release the pressure. This blog allows me to do that so to be perfectly honest, it doesn't really matter to me if no one ever reads it. I don't write for others, I write for myself. But I guess the question could then be asked, "why do I post the mad ramblings that I've put into writing?" The answer is I don't know. I guess my hope is that by writing about the things that go on in my life and how I deal with them helps to soothe my head then maybe someone else will be comforted to know that they are the only one going through those same things and maybe have a little bit more hope that they can get through them too.
Being the night owl that I am, I often find that I'm at my most creative and thoughtful in the wee hours of the night. It seems that my head can be full of fluff and seem to be devoid of intelligent thought until I lay my head down at night to sleep. Then the ideas and thoughts start to ping around in the once vacant space until they have multiplied into the thousands and demand to be released. If I don't head their call and find some way to express them they tend to come out in my dreams and let me tell you I have had some doozies! I use to keep a pen and paper on my nightstand so that I could jot the ideas down as they came into focus but for whatever reason they never seem to stay there anymore and I'm not one to venture out of my bed once I'm snuggled up tight if I can help it. So I usually end up laying there milling through the various thoughts that my conscious mind is bombarded by and trying to organize them into something useful. I've even written poetry in my head before but sadly forgotten it by morning if I didn't write it down as it came to me. I tell my mom frequently that if vampires really existed I would be their queen because I am such a creature of the night. First off I hate to be in the sun. Overexposure is horrible for your skin and I only seem to burn as I get older. Second I am anything but a morning person and I always seem to get my second wind about 10:00. For some reason my mind has always thought that night time was the best time to clean or decorate the house or to reorganize all the closets. I always seem to get this burst of energy when I should be settling down for the night. I guess my internal clock is just completely out of whack. But I digress.
I write this blog for me and to occasionally share pictures and stories about Little Man with family that we don't get to see as often as I would like. I partly write so that they can stay apart of our lives and it helps me feel more connected to them. But if at any time you feel like you've gone as far as you'd like to on my journey, I'll understand. Sometimes my mad ramblings overwhelm me to the point that I want to scream just to drown out all the noise in my head. So I'll understand if you need to get off the crazy bus for a little while and try to find some normal. We can always swing back around to pick you up later if you change your mind. Just don't be surprised if I happen to be sliding in on 2 wheels in the middle of the night and rambling on about how to reuse toilet paper rolls for art projects or what shade of blue I want to paint my kitchen when I'm finally able to buy my own house. Those are just a few of the milder thoughts that pass through my head from time to time.
"But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked.
‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all mad here."
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll