Wednesday, April 2, 2014

When I Grow Up I want to be...

How many people love their job? I mean seriously wake up every morning by jumping out of bed and saying I can't wait to get to work because I completely love my job. Well if you are one of those people good for you. That's great. I'm not.  It takes all my will power to roll myself out of bed and make myself presentable for work. One because I'm not a morning person and two my job doesn't excite me or inspire those kind of feelings that I'm just bursting at the seems until I can do it again.

 Most children have some sort of normal reply when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up. They say things like a doctor or a teacher or an astronaut which are all perfectly normal acceptable responses. When I was asked, my response was always something like I want to be rich or or do something artsy and creative or to be able to shop all day long.  Again all great aspirations but not very lucrative ones since one cannot simply just decide to be rich and apply for that position online. You either have to earn it, marry it, or inherit it. So far the chances of the last two options don't look very promising which brings up back to the dilemma of how to earn money and enjoy the process.

Now most people will say find something you love then find a way to make money doing it and the other half would say that when you turn what you love into a job it takes the enjoyment out of it. My problem is that no one is going to pay me, or at least not pay me well, to read books or play video games all day or crochet for hours on end. Those are the things I love to do. Now the crochet hobby could be a nice little side business if I actually had the time to sit and make things but after working 8 hours a day and then taking care of a 3 year old and a house there isn't a lot of time left over for much more than sleeping.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. I work at a very nice company with great people and it was a God send when I needed it but it's just not something that really gets my motor running and that I want to spend the rest of my working years doing. It's a job. It serves a purpose, a means to an end.  My dream would be to find a job that I don't dread when my alarm clock goes off every morning and that I find satisfying and fulfilling and am eager to start the next day. Ok maybe not the alarm clock thing because I don't think there is anything that excites or thrills me enough to not want to hit the snooze button once or twice because let's face it, I'm never going to be a morning person.  I just don't see that happening.  But there's got to be something out there that A) I'm good at, B) I can enjoy, and C) I can make a decent living doing.  I just haven't been able to find it yet.

When I was in college I spent a lot of time in the career center taking aptitude and personality tests.  My results always came back with stuff like I should be a fresco muralist or an arc welder and crazy stuff like that.  A lot of the jobs and careers that came back sounded great but the problem was that I would forever be deemed a starving artist if I pursued any of them and hope and dreams don't fill your toddlers tummy.  I just always knew that I was not meant for corporate America.  I've never been a ladder climber because of my fear of heights and even though I'm more than capable, I've never wanted the responsibility of leadership because I have a severe intolerance to ignorance and stupidity.  So far I have just floated from here to there and this job to that one with no real passion for what I was doing.  I always do the best that I can and give my all because I have pride in myself and my work but I'm one of those people who leaves my job at work when I leave for the day.  It doesn't cross over into my personal life.

I'd really just like to find a job that I can be excited about and feel like what I am doing is really worth while and that I'm the best person for that job.  I'd like to be able to express myself creatively and to not have to fit into a box that society and corporate America says is what successful business looks like.  And I'd really like to figure out what that is before I'm too old to do it!

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes our job is just what we do to fund our passions. :)